Growing Old Gracefully or I Don't Think I'm Old Enough for That

I found a gray hair, where? Is this a bad joke? Call me ignorant, but I actually believed that the aging process would be slower if I didn't have kids and activate all of those "special" hormones that come with pregnancy, pregnancy weight, childbirth and breast-feeding. What a wake up call I received as I found myself eating less, yet doing more to maintain my weight; and being forced to become obsessed to lose any weight.

Some people think I look younger than my age, but I don't; I see the gray hairs - in unmentionable places, and the lines that weren't there in that picture sitting on the bedside table. And don't even ask about the sudden tightness in my clothes around the tummy area.

I can't help but look at my 24 year old cousin that everyone calls my twin; and think that she looks 20 years younger in my eyes. I can't help but cringe every time I make a reference to something that happened 20 plus years ago that I remember vividly; or smile when I realize that a friend wasn't even born when that event happened.

Aging means wisdom, life experience and knowledge, yet somehow lately, aging has become a bad word in my vocabulary.


So every night before bed I'm sure to wash any makeup off and apply night cream. And in the morning after my shower I'm sure to apply moisturizer and sunscreen, to my face and skin. And throughout the day I drink almost a gallon of water to keep my skin as close to clear as possible (which isn't as clear and it used to be); and count calories to stay on track. I apply my Crest white strips an hour a day to keep my smile bright and youthful; and every 6 weeks I update my hairstyle or get those grayer every time roots dyed dark. And somehow I have to smile because at the end of the day; this is what they call growing old gracefully.