Laws of Attraction

My junior year in high school I met one of the nicest guys in the world. He was cute, a whiz at math, and I was happy to get his help with homework after school. After getting to know him, I began to really like him, and I hoped he would consider taking me to his senior prom.

One afternoon as I was getting dressed for a basketball game with my fellow cheering squad members I heard a girl "B", a senior, ask about him. Another girl mentioned that he was a friend of mine. "B" smiled and promised her friend that she would be getting to know him and that he would be her date for the prom.

I smiled to myself because as far as I was concerned, next to me she didn't have a chance. I thought I was cuter, thinner, and on top of everything else; I was already his friend. I never told him I liked him, but I was confident that she was no competition; and he was going to ask me to his prom.

Weeks later I quietly swallowed my pride and publicly stifled my hatred for that girl. In a very short time she managed to get to know him, start dating him, and announced him as her prom date. I was sure that every time she mentioned him in front of me she was taunting me, and it worked. My 16 year old ego was bruised. I despised her and her ability to get near him.

I learned a serious lesson from this incident. When it comes to love, nothing is guaranteed. When it comes to attraction, assume nothing. But most of all, it taught me never to underestimate any other woman; no matter who she is or what she looks like; especially if she's determined to have something. Attraction and chemistry, like love are blind.

As an adult, I carry that lesson with me every day. A friend recently told me not to worry that another woman may be expressing interest in someone that I care for. I wish I could easily believe him, but I know better.

People find each other every day who surprise us. Plain girls marry flashy guys and gorgeous woman date regular guys to the shock of many. Attraction is chemistry; sometimes with no rhyme or reason required. So no matter how much assurance my friend offers, I can't help but feel uneasy. They say you can't fight city hall, try fighting attraction.

In the Pit of My Stomach

In the pit of my stomach lies a thing I know without knowing, and a feeling that I can't describe.

There is someone that I care about; that I've cared about for some time, but I'm scared to admit that I worry the feeling isn't mutual. Truth be told, I'm not sure how much I feel for him, but I know I care enough to be a little jealous when he shows interest in someone else.

I'm at a loss because just last month I learned that someone I've always cared for moved on. I never asked him the questions that I should have; and I wasted a lot of time wishing for someone who could never see me for all that I am.

Now I know that I need to ask the hard question and put on my big girl pants and deal with the answer. I'm not sure I'm holding on to my new friend because I want more; even though I suspect he won't give it to me, or because I'm afraid there won't be anything else; and something is better than nothing. While I've made peace with my single situation, I'm saddened by the thought of being completely alone again.

There's something I suspect in the pit of my stomach; a feeling that I can't fully describe. It's a question hanging in the air, and an answer I suspect I already have.