In the Pit of My Stomach

In the pit of my stomach lies a thing I know without knowing, and a feeling that I can't describe.

There is someone that I care about; that I've cared about for some time, but I'm scared to admit that I worry the feeling isn't mutual. Truth be told, I'm not sure how much I feel for him, but I know I care enough to be a little jealous when he shows interest in someone else.

I'm at a loss because just last month I learned that someone I've always cared for moved on. I never asked him the questions that I should have; and I wasted a lot of time wishing for someone who could never see me for all that I am.

Now I know that I need to ask the hard question and put on my big girl pants and deal with the answer. I'm not sure I'm holding on to my new friend because I want more; even though I suspect he won't give it to me, or because I'm afraid there won't be anything else; and something is better than nothing. While I've made peace with my single situation, I'm saddened by the thought of being completely alone again.

There's something I suspect in the pit of my stomach; a feeling that I can't fully describe. It's a question hanging in the air, and an answer I suspect I already have.